'learning to love while loving to learn' -kristin

view from the boys apt 

Well its been a long time since i've been able to write! I'm home now and back in college. I'm enjoying being back in America but really miss my Ywam family. Life has been picking back up here in washington pretty quickly and before i get too carried away I want to try and spend as much free time writing about what happened on my trip to Central Asia.
My outreach was nothing like I expected. It changed me in ways i would never have imagined. Of course these three months of my life were the most interesting so i want to share as much as i can by posting a few of my stories one
                                                         at a time.
Living in a muslim country was nothing like I imagined. I honestly think i made it more dramatic in my head, so that was a relief when i arrived, but because of its communist background there was a whole different level of pressure. Most of it came to me in our 'mission' there at the English school. All seven of us were assigned teaching positions -- alone, with two classes, five hours a day, four days a week. I was assigned two classes in an intermediate english level of up to twenty six students. All ranging from the ages of eighteen to sixty-two. My duties were conversation practices, grammar, sentence structure, vocab, midterms, finals, and an occasional project.....  O God really knows how to hit me hard :)
This one sent me over the top. I freaked. its so funny because all this time i was so convinced God was going to "teach me a lesson" and send me to some crazy barbarian country and teach me how to live in an impoverished area, but instead he goes way deeper and hits me right where i hated it the most-my insecurity.

passion

ok if I could describe my whole life in one word i'd want it to be "passion"

Our class was asked the question' how would you describe being passionate?
an adrenaline to pursue, heart racing, sold out, a driving force, contagious, to die for, to live for, excitement, an overwhelming emotion, consuming, fuel, unshaken, dedication near obsession for, extreme, uncontrollable, crazy, love.

(so what does it look like for a christian to be passionate?)

first off I have a passion for Christ - because He has a passion for me

Passion is a choice, what does that mean. I can still be passionate for Christ even when I'm on an emotional down. Whether walking through the street or on my knees worshiping my passion can still be the same.

Its a choice its practicing reminding myself "who" He is.

The bottom line of passion for God isn't the experience, its the truth of who He is.

Have that passion and catch the worlds attention. We are a race starved of passion

Isaiah 42:1-8

"Here is my servant, whom I uphold, my chosen one in whom I delight; I will put my Spirit on him and he will bring justice to the nations. He will not shout or cry out, or raise his voice in the streets.
A bruised reed he will not break, and a smoldering wick he will not snuff out. In faithfulness he will bring forth justice. he will not falter or be discouraged till he establishes justice on the earth..."

(when you feel broken and bruised in your spiritual life, God wont step on you or toss you aside as useless, but will gently pick you up. God's loving attributes are desperately needed in the world today.)

"I the Lord have called you in righteousness; I will take hold of your hand. I will keep you and will make you to be a covenant for the people and a light for the gentiles, to open eyes that are blind, to free captives from prison and to release from the dungeon those who sit in darkness.
I am the LORD; that is my name! I will not give my give my glory to another or my praise to idols."

(Look at all the Lord will do for us and through us)

a word of comfort

"I will never leave you or forsake you

You will never leave my sight,

my love my will for you is perfect and beautiful

I am familiar I am that peace that comforts you, that love

I am what you adore

I made everything you desire, you enjoy, you seek

those memories

those places

those moments

I am beauty I am that which you run to

in times of worry, of fear, of need

everything good comes from me

so do good do what you love

be with those you adore

and simply glorify me

thats simply my will"

team azerbaijan

YWAM Kona’s first Azerbaijan outreach team!

    The eight of us will be taking off September 22nd and returning to Kona December 13th. We are so excited for these next two and half months! There has already been lots of prayer and encouraging words spoken over us about the people we will be reaching and our personal walk with God. Our team has been seeking Gods heart for the country and have started fasting one day a week. We believe God is desiring us as a team to reflect family and unity through Christ in Azerbaijan and carry hope to the muslim community. We want to not only grow together as a team but as a family in Christ with the Azeri people. I can see God is ready to do some deep work in us! 

We will be teaching English at a school in Baku. Baku is the capitol of Azerbaijan and true to its name it is the “wind-pounded city.”  

Azerbaijan (meaning land of eternal fire) became independent of the Soviet Union in 1991 and has a population of  around 83% Muslim. The country shares its boarder with Georgia Russia Turkey Armenia Iran and the Caspian sea. The city of  Baku thrives off of the oil dominated economy and tourism. 

We will be living in apartments inside the city and plan to visit orphanages and reach out to the homeless when we aren’t teaching English. The missionaries in Baku haven’t found a place to stay yet so please pray for affordable places (a room for the boys and a room for the girls) in the same building and close to the school. During our time there, my heart is to make close relationships with the community and to just reflect Christ’s love in everything I do. Because its so hard to evangelize my actions will have to speak louder than my words :) pray for those who will ask about Christ and pray for each of us to be discerning and impactful while we plant the seeds to start the “fire.” There are issues of mistrust and deceit because of a corrupt political background so pray against suspicion and negativity not only in the classes but within our team especially. 

Thank you for all of your prayers so far 

I can't wait to update you on all of the things God will be doing during the outreach

...too easily pleased

"It would seem that Our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased"

C.S. Lewis

All of our human passion cant even scrape the surface of experiencing what God is able to give us. He is beyond our intake - our limited understanding, yet we continue with the desire to "know" who He is...  buckle up because its going to take an eternal life to find out.

recently I asked God the question "how do I truly understand your love?" Not the love you give inside of me and others But your uncreated love that abides purely in you. How do I as a 19 yr old girl, living in the 21st century, and with my lack of understanding "get" God's love. 

That is my prayer right now. 

All i can say is so far what God is beginning to reveal to me is that first it is something that can't be described in words it is an experience (like driving fast i could explain it to you but you won't truly understand 'till you experience it) 

"God I want to experience your love so that I can scratch the surface of understanding you ...for not today or tomorrow but eternity) 

answered prayer

Hey Everyone! Thank you so much for your prayers for rachel and sarah. They were answered!! It was so crazy. God is amazing... It had honestly gotten to the point where we were all starting to accept the thought of them actually leaving. Then literally Two minutes before 3 o'clock an anonymous person came up to both girls and said they would pay for their fees. SO AMAZING! they were in shock the rest of the day... so was I lol
Thank you so much God is so good